Finding a supplier for your business can be a tricky process at the best of times; so many online businesses rely heavily on customer testimonials. So what do you do if you are a new business, say a new Debt Collection business and you want to impress potential customers? Are you going to be honest about the fact the business is new and try and offer a great service or do you "fake it till you make it"?
Unfortunately for many businesses trying to find a reputable debt recovery partner the latter seems to be the preferred option, with many so called debt collectors recycling or just stealing testimonials from other sources. Now not only is this dishonest and as such contrary to the Advertising Standards Authority rules on misleading statements, it also shows a marked lack of invention and imagination. As such, we've decided to offer a helping hand to all those debt collection companies out there with fake testimonials by providing some suggested "testimonials" of our own.
Remember, if you run an unlicensed dodgy back-room debt collection outfit and you've stolen your current testimonials you can use any of the suggestions below free of charge and without any copyright claims. These are our gift to you and we hope your customers enjoy them more than the recycled rubbish you currently use.
We have arranged the testimonials around popular themes for you convenience, our thanks to the very lovely @ChrisPinto for indulging us and helping form the idea.
@chrispinto "This company helped me reclaim my money from the Rebel Scum" Mr D. Vader Managing Director Deathstar Planet Cleaners Ltd— Safe Collections (@Safe_Collects) November 28, 2014
.@chrispinto "Dodgy Debt Co were instrumental in helping me encase an absconded debtor in carbonite, great service" Mr J Hutt "Entrepreneur"— Safe Collections (@Safe_Collects) November 28, 2014
And this one from our favourite freelance writer Bob Bardsley:
"Dodgy Debt Co were of great assistance in helping us recover the Tesseract and foil the Chitauri invasion of New York. Recommended, would avenge again." Mr N Fury. S.H.I.E.L.D. Ltd
"I had an outstanding debt from the 1940's to collect and Dodgy Debt Co managed to recover this and 70 years of interest quickly and efficiently." Mr S Rogers T/A Captain America
"HULK SMASH!" Dr Bruce Banner T/A HULK
Guardians of the Galaxy
"I am Groot" Mr Groot
"Service was fine, but I can't promise when all of this is over I'm not going to kill every last one of you jerks." Mr Rocket (Racoon)
"When I look around, you know what I see? Losers." Mr P Quill Star-Lord
Remember if you run a dodgy debt collection company and you want to win friends and influence new business then you need to stand out from the crowd. Don't just rip off other companies for testimonials that get flagged as fake with a quick google search, show some style and substance and aim to impress with our free selection of fake testimonials!
NB: Note to any litigious lawyers who may be reading, please note this is a work of parody and is presented as such. All trademarks remain the property of their respective owners and we do not claim to have any relationship or endorsement from Lucasarts/Disney/Marvel.