Thursday, 27 June 2013 16:38

Kryptonian Credit Control: Why the Man of Steel would make a super debt collector

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Superman is BACK with the cinematic release of Man of Steel, and it got us to thinking about whether or not the Kryptonian comicbook hero would be a worthy addition to the Safe Collections team.

We know he'd be a bit unpredictable - always nipping off into the nearest phone booth or flying off to save the world - but given that he'd be saving our skins in the process, we're willing to make some allowances.

 Besides, we think he'd be pretty good at the job, for the following reasons...

He's Good

Usually when you say "he's good" about someone, particularly in the professional sense, you mean that he's proficient at his job.

Superman is the human (well, Kryptonian) embodiment of the actual concept of 'good' itself, and when you've got him fighting your corner, you're bound to be even more certain than usual that you're in the right.

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X-Ray Specs

We sometimes wish we had X-ray vision so that, when debtors say "we never received the invoice" and other such excuses, we could take a proper look at their offices and double-check whether the letter's sitting in their in-tray.

Superman's X-ray vision has us beat on this one, as only a lead-lined box would be enough to prevent him from being able to spot the evidence from outside the building.

(We do, however, compensate for this by using credit reports and company records to help us gain an insight into a debtor's inner workings - our own, human equivalent of X-ray vision. Kind of.)

Passion and Pedantry

The enduring appeal of Superman - and of more 'human' characters like Batman and Spider-Man, too - is the desire to break out of the humdrum of daily life, and be a superhero just for one moment.

Most of us are probably more like Clark Kent than Superman, but beneath every mild-mannered journalist (or debt collector, for that matter) there's an intergalactic Man of Steel waiting to break free.

While we may not have superpowers, we have the law on our side, and that's a pretty powerful tool in itself - and the balance between everyday admin and more robust action where it's necessary is typical of our old Kryptonian friend.

He's Sustainable

We don't imagine Superman has an environmental responsibility policy in place, and he certainly causes plenty of damage in his tussles with other alien demigods, but fundamentally, he's quite environmentally friendly.

He draws his energy from the sun, and you'll usually see him spend a few minutes topping up his tan if he's ever exposed to Kryptonite - and you can't get much more eco-friendly than a solar-powered debt collector.

He Never Gives Up

As a consequence of being solar-powered, Superman never, ever gives up and never, ever gives in - his almost immeasurable strength, unparalleled passion for what's good and right, and limitless stamina are all hallmarks of his modus operandi.

We like to think we follow the same M.O. in our own pursuit of unpaid debts, tirelessly chasing debtors and using the full force of the law to bring them to book.

If you're reading this, Clark Kent, there's an open internship for you at Safe Collections, any time you choose...

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Image by flickr user charlesfettinger. Licensed under CC BY 2.0

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